Self Development

Relationship hacks: Bad buys are not that bad

You know what, I kinda feel for bad guys and bad girls. They get such a bad reputation, and honestly they deserve it too.

However, I think there is a second perspective worth acknowledging.

Bad guys and girls are attractive for a reason.

It’s not just a matter or masochism to be attracted to them. Bad guys or bad girls, actually have incredibly high self confidence, and let me tell you:

Confidence is sexy.

You heard it. We, as humans, love people that love themselves to start with. Unfortunately some of those people are also so self absorbed and selfish that they just play with people in relationships.

When you think about it, even good guys or good girls are usually attracted to the “bad” ones. Because everybody want someone that is happy by him/herself, that isn’t already asking for something,

We are more likely to give to people that aren’t begging us to do so.

We are also to blame in the situation.

Often, we stay in relationships in hope for something. We know those people don’t care much about us, but the little time they give, we value it so much that we rather stay than leave.

It’s definitely more complex than that, but it’s part of the situation.

Sometimes it’s a challenge for us, to make people love us, when they don’t seem to.

And if you ask me, we have been bad guys/girls to somebody once in our life.

Good guys aren’t that good either.

Nobody want someone all over you, doing everything for you, ready at anything for you. Honestly it is not even necessarily helpful. We take those people granted easily, and there is no challenge and subsequently no growth on sight.

As humans we crave challenges, and there is nothing that good in somebody laying a cake in front of you all the time. At some point it’s insulting to your ability to bake a cake yourself!

That’s where most good guys or good girls fail!

It’s not necessarily love. That’s a whole next level of kindergarden.

What we as humans, usually want is someone with enough self confidence and enough generosity.

What we wish for is a balance. Someone who cares about him/herself with room to care for somebody else. None of it should be obsessive. No someone self-absorbed and not someone putting all the effort in us, while neglecting himself.

What we want is someone with who growth is possible. Someone who doesn’t worship us while we know ourselves to be so flawed. And someone who doesn’t bash us when we also know how capable and worthy we are.

In defense of bad guys,

Good guys don’t love you either!

What do you think?

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