Self Development

Pain addiction: Why and How it can happen

We don’t love things, we reconize them.

We love things we are familiar with, no matter how destructive those things might be. Because we’ve eventually learned to deal with those things; we know how they work and we know how to respond to them.

It still takes effort to move from a painful situation.

At some time in your life, you’ve either been depressed or seen someone so burried in depression that it seems impossible to take them out if it.

Sometimes it’s people going through financially hard times since forever. And yet they don’t seem to break through it. Motivational coaches deal with that by saying: “Allow yourself to be successful”.

I’ve once read an article on how poverty might be a culture. A research done around 1990, came to realize that there were a set of habits, attitudes particular to poor people, and that those attitudes and habits were transmitted from one generation to the other. Those habits and attitudes were coping mechanisms but they supposedly also ended up encouraging poverty.

And when you think about, it’s really interesting, how learning how to cope with something, might make you stay in a situation where you’ll always have to cope with it.

I craved pain on multiple occasions. You read that right. And you probably did too. I was in a difficult relationship and I was not only addicted to the relationship, but addicted to the pain it often brought me. Whenever I would be right about something, I would make sure I do crazy things that would make me feel bad, about myself in regard to the relationship. I would feel a great inconfort from being right, because I didn’t know how to act when right. I only knew how to apologize and promise I would do better.

Anything can be addictive, it only has to be familiar.

Through the years of denionciation of domestic violences, there were often situations where the victim would fight anyone trying to help her leave. Some women got so addicted to the beating that they would even provoke their husbands into beating them when he goes on with a long time without beating them.

Pain can be so frequent that you not only love it unconsciously, but CRAVE it, like a drug!

We end up finding love in what is familiar. We define love from what is in already in our plate. You might be so used to be hurt that can’t accept love. Because you would have already found love in the hurt.

The only thing we fear, is the lack of emotions. Any emotion can end up satisfying us, might it be destructive or not.

Let’s pay a little more attention to what we are contiously letting happen to us. Let’s break through any destructive habit, before we normalize it, want it and crave it.

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5 thoughts on “Pain addiction: Why and How it can happen

  1. This is very true. It’s why some people blame the victim because they always manage to attract the same dysfunctional partners or friends. It’s a hard habit to break and even when you finally do, you’ll find yourself wanting to go back at times. Thanks for sharing.

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